I've photographed many folks, but there's something about Ashley Goeken that defied every technical rule I'd learned.
I'll admit something that frustrated me in early shoots with her as a Knee-Hi: I couldn't capture her the way she appeared.
I struggled with her more than anyone I'd photographed, turning in blurry shots, underexposed frames, poor composition, and miscalculated settings, mistakes that should have been deleted the moment I saw them.
But here's what I discovered: there was a silver lining to every imperfect photo.
No matter how much I fumbled the technicalities, her personality always shone through, bright, sincere, and kind. Her essence couldn't be dimmed by inadequate shutter speed or blown-out highlights. The photos were definitely flawed, but she was unmistakable.
I didn't know Ash during her initial shows. I was just someone with a camera, trying and failing to do her justice. But even through those imperfect frames, I could see who she was. And later, when I got to know her, I realized I'd been reading her right all along.
When photographing her with a loved one, I noticed something I couldn't control with camera settings. While everyone else instinctively turned toward the camera, Ash would sneak in a turn toward them. She'd watch their smile form, as if their happiness was the real photograph worth taking. She found joy in the reflection of theirs. It was an expression of love I've recognized in shoots since, and it made her unbelievably beautiful in a way no amount of perfect lighting could ever achieve.
Ash is also someone who greets you with genuine warmth, even in brief moments before and after showtime. She'll pause to chat, to be present, hugs and smiles always ready even when a hundred other things demand her attention, and you can tell she's genuinely glad you're there.
I still don't shoot Ash as often as I'd like. But when I do, I'm reminded that some people carry a light so authentic, so unwavering, that it burns through every technical failure and renders the camera irrelevant. What it captures, in the end, is just the truth of who someone really is.